Bugs

I've been startled awake in the night by a flitting metallic flutter twice now. Once, sleeping on my back, I felt it on my stomach. Blearily, I swiped at it, and much to my surprise a torrent of crunchy sounds, like long nails itching dry skin, made its way up my torso. Much more awake, I lept up from my comfortable position and frantically pulled back the blanket, wiping the sheets. Of course, it was pitch dark so my imagination took charge: a giant spider, small rodent...cockroach? By this time my partner had been roused and was just flipping on the light switch in the heat of annoyance when my right hand made contact. It felt like crumpled paper, and I automatically withdrew my hand in disgust and fear- hey, I didn't know.

With lights on, we caught a glimpse of the bugger, er, bug. A cockroach, the size of a tube of lipstick was scurrying under my night table. My brow furrowed and my skin crawled. It had been IN MY BED! Under my covers! The most sacred, secure, personal place possible. It had snuggled up against me in it's own dirty way. Did it lay eggs in my belly button? Will I be infested with cockroach babies? Is there a colony under my sheets? The horrors flashed in my minds eye, and in an almost trance I sat pondering these disgusting possibilities while my partner was searching around for something to whack it with.

"Don't just sit there! Find something to get it with. Where did it go? Molly? Molly!" I shook the thoughts away and timidly peeked over the side of the bed. I felt violated. Utterly violated by an ancient insect deemed to have survived throughout history's most tragic events. I held myself and looked at Erik with pleading eyes, if there was ever a time to play the female roll, it was now. Things like "icky" and "yucky" flew out of my mouth with such ease in an air of helplessness. I was recovering from the ordeal when the night table was pushed to one side and the invader exposed. Oh, this bastard was going down!

I sat on my knees perched on the side of the bed looking down as Erik's arm raised in preparation. The cockroach, golden-brown, went for the underneath of the bed and with a triumphant WHAP! Erik's arm had brought the newspaper of fury down. We exchanged glances and he carefully looked under the flattened paper. All was still, the dark body not moving. We breathed a sigh of relief and, just as Erik went to get up, the damn thing made way towards a shaded corner. The newspaper was re-rolled and the battle began again. I cheered on from the sidelines, loathing the dirty bugger, wishing for its death and demise. I had been roached for crying out loud! My hero, my newspaper armed hero! Hoo-rah for the gladiator. May he bring the beast down!

After repeated WHAPS, a fury of local news, the body lay still. With a smooth motion, Erik lifted the contorted body onto the paper and went to toss it out. I sat a while, trying to ignore the feeling. I had to let it go, I couldn't dwell on it because then I would never sleep. It's that weird phenomena that, if you do find, say, a bug in your bed, even if you get that one bug out and fail to find anymore bugs, you can still feel their little legs all over you, or chomping on you, depending on the species one is dealing with.

I couldn't let it win. I had to shake it off, play cool. Get some darn sleep. I crawled back into bed with my defender after shutting off the light and forced my mind elsewhere. In Thailand you have to, because in reality, there probably is a cockroach party going on, and you don't WANT to know it.


The second encounter:

My family was visiting and, being good hosts, Erik and I gave up our bed so that our guests would be comfortable. I didn't mind sleeping on the floor in my living room. Erik even saw it "as an adventure- like camping". The nights went by fine. Sleeping was comfortable and waking up even easier. Until one night, I was having an unusually hard time falling asleep. I tossed and turned for a while and eventually faded off into dreamland. It wasn't long before I felt something on my ear -- that sensitive spot behind it where your hairline ends and a small soft patch of skin is left -- I was half asleep, half dreaming it, when I went to actually itch the area.

The metallic contact and flitting of wings shot me awake. Another one! Behind my ear! It had only been a month or so since my last violation from the insect world and I was again grossed out beyond all means. But, I had to breath and take it in stride. I had felt the body fall from the area behind my ear, tumbling down my chest to my pillow. I casually wiped the area, felt no body, and tried to convince myself it was a dream. Otherwise, I would have never fallen back asleep. Was it a cricket? Another cockroach? I shook the thought away. One can't be certain in the black of night. Just let it roll off you, roll over, and play cool.

And that's just night time visits of what I know of....